Nesting!

We have been busy little bees in the Wallace household these days!  As Matt says, I'm in full "nesting mode".  From a paperwork perspective we have made HUGE progress!  We received our 800 approval (US Government approving us to adopt Lily Grace officially), our Chinese VISAs are completed and we have received them, we received our GUZ# (big deal but not worth going into!), completed the initial process for Lily Grace's VISA which she will receive in China prior to our departure home, and received our letter from the National Visa Center stating they had forwarded our information to the US Consulate in China.  Whew. . . everything on our end that we can do at this point is done!  Tomorrow, our agency's facilitator in China should complete our Article 5 drop off at the Embassy and it will be picked up 2 weeks later.  This step is the process of reviewing all the paperwork, forms, etc thus far to make sure everything is correct and ready to go.  If so, once the pick up occurs, the paperwork is sent from Guangzhou to Beijing where the Chinese Adoption Agency headquarters is. We then wait for our Travel Approval (TA).  Once we have TA we can book hotels, flights, etc but not until then.

Signing Lily Grace's LOA and sending it off to China!

LOA signing, Letter of Action/Approval

At home, we are working on preparing for another little one joining the family!  Matt has been working crazy hard and helping to organize and arrange everything for Lily Grace's arrival.  He worked with our niece's boyfriend, Andrew, and friend to move essentially half of the furniture in our house one day!  I'm not sure Andrew will ever come back after all we had for him to do, but he and his friend were unbelievable helpers for us!  Our niece, Kayla, also helped clean and organize!  Taylor and Madelyn now share their new big girl room.  Madelyn is out of the nursery to make room for Lily Grace and they have loved their first few days together in their new room.  Madelyn has adjusted beautifully to her big girl bed.  We are so grateful.  And now, thankfully, we have a place to put Lily Grace's clothes and other items we have been slowly collecting and washing and purchasing!  It really is coming together!

Madelyn's first night in her big girl bed!

We are hoping to receive and update for Lily Grace in the next couple of weeks.  We are also in the process of sending off a care package to her in her orphanage.  We are including an outfit, lovey, small toy, camera with hopes that the nannies will take photos of her and her friends and caretakers at the orphanage, and a photo album of her family here so she can learn our faces and names.  We pray that she receives the care package but know there is no guarantee.  My sweet co-worker, Ying, who is from China was kind enough to translate the names of everyone in our photo album so the caretakers can teach Lily Grace who we are!  I am so grateful for her help and encouragement through this process.  It has been neat to have her perspective and understanding along the way.  The Lord is so good to place such special people in our paths throughout this journey!  

Ying, translating our names into Mandarin for Lily Grace's photo album!

Friends, travel is close!  If all goes as planned we will be leaving NEXT MONTH to bring Lily Grace home!  It seems to be happening so fast now.  My mind is racing with everything left to do, all the money left to pay, travel plans, adjustment once we are home and everything in between.  But I know the Lord is faithful.  He will provide everything we need in His perfect timing.  He is never late!  I am anxiously awaiting our trip and the day we meet our Lily Grace.  I am thankful for all of you for praying for us and supporting us along the way!  

Introducing Miss Lily Grace YaXuan Wallace!

It's hard to believe I'm typing this post!  We can finally announce our long awaited and prayed for little one is coming home soon!  And she's a GIRL!  Craziness!  I didn't think that would be the case.  Matt said all along we would be matched with a little girl and I continued to remind him that it would not be the case for so many reasons (all very accurate for the record).  But obviously God had different plans.  And apparently thinks we will survive teenage years with all the estrogen (yikes!).

So how did we get here?  The Lord is amazing and He orchestrates His perfect plan with the most amazing precision and care.  I will try to summarize the events of the last month for you.

On Thursday, April 13th I came home from picking up the girls.  In the garage I checked my email on my phone and saw an email from Wasatch Adoption Agency (not our agency at the time).  It was an update email with new and current children listed with their agency.  I saw a little girl with a blurred out face and a description that read "rare opening for a family with a Log In Date to China (LID) for this very young girl".  I was immediately interested in learning more and sent a quick email to be "high on the list" of inquiries.  I went inside and showed Matt and he agreed that we were very interested but we both knew that there would be MANY people interested in this little girl.  He told me "If she's meant to be ours it will work out."  I went to bed that night and prayed, "Lord, if this is our child, work everything out for us."

The next day, Friday April 14th and GOOD FRIDAY, Matt and I were both off of work and so we decided to take the girls for breakfast at Cracker Barrel.  We were eager to hear more about the little girl.  I mainly wanted to know where we were in line and how many people were in front of us to even know if we had a chance at reviewing her file.  As we waited outside for a table I checked my email and there it was. . . a file with pictures, videos and medical information about this little girl.  I skimmed through the information quickly and showed Matt, who was immediately smitten.  He said, "That's our girl!"  I still didn't know where we were on the list so I called the agency and asked.  The voice on the other end of the phone said, "You are first.  You are first in line."  Everything went fuzzy.  I looked at Matt and held up one finger saying, "We are #1 on the list!"  He started yelling, "Tell them we want her!"  Cars were whizzing by, our girls were running around crazy, and I could process what I was hearing.  "How is this possible?!" I said.  "This doesn't happen.  People wait years for this kind of situation."  She went on to tell me about policy changes, no families with their agency currently with a Logged in Dossier to China, etc, etc.  But in the end God.  God orchestrated this girl for our family from before we officially committed to China and in His perfect way.  Agencies and timelines and norms and my "I know how this is supposed to go down" didn't stop Him from fulfilling His plan.  Looking back at my initial communication with this agency, the timing lines up to when this little girls birth mom was first pregnant and maybe even finding out she was pregnant.  I will never know the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy or birth, but I will forever be grateful for her commitment to life for this precious baby!  How amazing for the Lord to begin to connect the dots and build relationships with an agency that we didn't initially begin the process with, and would one day, over a year and a half down the road, send an email, that I would just happen to open and inquire about a little blurred out face.  God, you are AMAZING!  While eating breakfast Matt looked at the pictures, and with tears in his eyes he said, "That's my girl."  I so wish I would have snapped a quick picture for Lily Grace one day, but for me, I will ever forget the look on his face.  From that moment, he knew she was ours and had such a peace about things.  This was so important going forward for me because the coming weeks required patience and trust in the Lord's provision.

Celebrating Lily Grace with my sister and her family!

Cousins celebrating Lily Grace!

We went through the process of switching agencies and the paperwork required.  Then we had to wait for her file to officially be assigned to the agency.  After a nerve-wracking two week wait, we learned that the agency was officially assigned her file on Friday April 28th.  Then we had to receive approval  from China to switch agencies.  The tricky part was that the new agency only had Lily Grace's file for 3 weeks before it was back to the Shared List.  All the letters were sent to China and arrived within days of the file being assigned.  Beautiful.  Until I received on email one day saying. . . "CCCWA did not think our letter of support was 'supportive enough' of you as a family".  What?!?! It went on to explain that all the letters state the same thing and they just need to send a new letter to China, etc.  I was initially not concerned.  Our agency wasn't concerned so I was good.  Then the days went by with no word from China and less days left for our new agency to have Lily Grace's file.  I started letting the devil whisper all sorts of things to me.  I was a total stress ball.  The whole time, Matt said he felt a peace.  I did not feel at peace.  I was worried.  Compounding things was Lily Grace's first birthday on May 8th.  That day coming and going with still no word and I began to think worst case senerio.  I had many talks with the Lord.  I knew He was in control. I believed He would take care of things; whether that meant she was ours or not.  But, I could not shake the worry.  I learned and heard so many things during that waiting period that really challenged and strengthened my faith (see previous post!).  In hindsight, I really believe that the additional wait was built in for the Lord to show me a few things.  I heard a couple times that during trials, you have to lean on what you know about the Lord and not what you feel about your circumstances.

Celebrating Lily Grace's 1st birthday!

Finally, on Wednesday May 10th we got the news that our new LID was in the system and our Dossier was switched to the new agency so we could officially be matched with Lily Grace!!! Praise the Lord for that wonderful, long anticipated news!  I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.  Then the next day, May 11th, we received word that China had given us LOA (HUMONGOUS AWESOME DEAL!) for her in the system.  Just trust me if you aren't up on the adoption lingo. .  it's important.  Basically it is China approving us to adopt her.

So now we are back in this mini paper chase world again.  We need United States approval to adopt Lily Grace, VISAs, travel approval and consulate appointments among other things.   And of course one depends on the other.  Not near as long and definitely much more exciting this time!  We hope to travel end of July to bring her home.  It will be a two week long trip. More on that later!  So sorry for the long post but the Lord has been up to a lot over the past month.

We have loved you for so long Lily Grace and we are so happy to have a face and a name now!  We are coming for you soon sweet girl! :)

Trust.

So we are just over a year past when we officially began our adoption process.  We have come along way and I'm so grateful we have made it through so much of the paperwork the comes along with the beginning of the process.  There will still be more paperwork in our future, but none like the craziness of the dossier preparation-praise Jesus!!!

We are now in the anxious and worry phase.  Well, I am.  We seem to be so close but still so far away.    I am learning a lot about this trusting the Lord issue.  It seems great and all, but when the rubber meets the road it's a lot trickier than it sounds.  It's REALLY HARD.  Hard to let go of my own agenda, plans, and version of how our adoption should go.  I have great intentions but they are not God's plans.  And I truly want what His plans are- as scary as it seems "in the meantime".  We are in a phase in which we have literally no control over what happens and it's scary.  I realize I frequently don't have control of as much as I think I do, but I am able to trick myself into thinking I do, which gives me a false sense of security.  I know the Lord is capable of accomplishing anything He wants and I believe that He will complete a good work in us.  My head is in the right place, but my momma heart is growing weary at times.  I was feeling so convicted about my trust issues earlier this week and as I was driving in the car I heard the Lord whisper to me, "You just need faith as small as a mustard seed".  What a sweet reminder from my caring God to let me know He knows we grow weary and He's right there walking beside me encouraging me.

Quote from our pastor, Dr. Danny Sinquefield during church last Sunday.  Perfect timing!

We are currently waiting on approval from China for additional paperwork that was received last week.  We found out earlier this week that one of the letters was rejected by the CCCWA (China's adoption agency) and a new letter had to be sent in.  We hope to hear back about that early next week.  Please pray that this new letter is accepted and we can move forward!

In the car on the way to work this morning, I had a pretty significant revelation.  I'm sad to say it took me this long to come to it.  I am also realizing that the Lord is using my time in the car as a time with the greatest learning moments for me these days.  I'm pretty sure it's because these are the rare moments when I am quiet (without kiddos!) and available to hear Him.  I was listening to "Ever Be" by Aaron Shust.  The lyrics say "Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips. . . You will be praised, You will be praised."  It hit me.  This journey is not about our family, it's about giving God the glory through this journey.  How have I missed this?!  Sure, I have made Him a part of it, but He is it.  He makes beauty from ashes.  He brings orphans into families.   This adoption is just another beautiful picture of the miraculous wonder that He is.  And in His abundant Grace, He is blessing us along the way.  We just need to hold on and be willing participants in His masterful plan.  So step by step, I am learning a little more about this faith and trust thing.  I'm a little stubborn so it's taking while.  ;)  Meanwhile, Matt says he has a peace about things.  I am very grateful for his stability during this time.  And I need a stable hubby during all of my weepy moments!

So little one, we will be there in God's timing!  We pray for you every day!  Many times a day!  The closer we get, the more I find myself thinking of you throughout my day.  I wake up early in the morning and wonder what you are doing.  When I go to bed at night I wonder what you are doing.  Your sisters talk about you.  We are so excited to meet you one day, but until then, we know that the Lord is watching over you and preparing our way to you!

So our Christmas Tree is still up. . .

Hello Friends!

Happy Spring!  Hope this update finds you well.  Just thought I would update you on where we stand in our adoption process.

We.are.just.waaaaiiiitttttiiiinnnggggg. currently.

Can you feel the patience just seeping through the words as I type them?!  Ugh!  I am terrible at this patience thing.  I think it's because I feel like we are so close but I literally have no actual idea how close (or not close) we really are.  I spend (a lot) of time trying to figure out when the call will come for a potential match.  I think through timelines in my head.  In some ways it's good to try and prepare but in others I think I'm just back in my same old ways of telling the Lord what needs to happen and when.  I had a brief time period, like a week, when I was patient and not perseverating, and then back to my crazy cycle.  I do COMPLETELY see the Lord's timely all over this through the waiting.  We have been going through some things as a family that I know for certain we needed to get through before we entered our next step in bringing our next little one into the family.  We also were able to focus solely on these things without the distractions of the next busy steps of the adoption process that will come as soon as we are matched with our child.  For this I am very thankful!  I am also soaking up as much time with Madelyn being the "baby" as I can.  I still rock her every night before she goes to bed.  I am grateful for these extra moments as I know they will be gone before I know it.  Once we get home from China, a new little one will be splitting the attention for snuggles with the girls and as Madelyn gets older (3 years old next month!), I won't have as many of these opportunities.  But at the same time, my heart is tugged knowing our little one in China is having another night without his/her momma rocking them.  So I rock the ones I have now while I pray for the one to come!

I read this recently and I love it and truly believe it!  But like so many things, getting the knowledge from my head to my heart is a long journey.  :)

So, why is the Christmas tree still up?  At the end of December I asked Matt if we could keep the Christmas Tree up until we were matched with a child.  He graciously agreed.  Of course at the time, I envisioned a match in January or a few weeks after that. . . not almost April with nothing! So here we are, coming up on Easter time with our Christmas Tree still on display for all to see!  A little crazy I know, but a reminder once again that my timing and plans are not where I want to be.

Taylor has been talking a lot about her baby brother or sister from China!  She is a budding artist and has included her sibling in many of her recent masterpieces!  I love seeing how the Lord is preparing her heart.

    

We have heard that our Dossier has made it through translation and review in China!  These are a great and important steps!  It means that once we are matched with our child, the remaining steps will (hopefully) move along more quickly.  So things are happening.  God is working all things for His good.  He is preparing our hearts and we trust that He is preparing our little ones way to us as well!  We continue to seek His will and wait for His perfect timing as we know that He already has everything all worked out.  We just need to sit back and enjoy the ride!

Jesus, only Jesus!

Amazing day for our family and all I can say is look at God's handy work!  His story is magnificent
and His timing is wonderful (even when I don't realize it).  He works out the big things and cares about the little things too!  His ways truly are higher and so far ahead of my short seeing and small minded human self that I am only beginning to figure it out!  We received news that our Dossier made it across the world safely to China on 12/26 after being sent from our adoption agency on the 22th. . . Praise God!  That started the wait for our LID (Log In Date to the CCCWA. . . China's adoption/welfare system).

So pause and let's talk about the fact that MY SISTER HAD A BABY TODAY!!!!  I have a new niece!!!  Yippeee!!  I can't wait to meet her in a few days!  Poor Ty (my nephew) is seriously out numbered on our side of the family with 4 girls currently and him being the only boy!   Little Andi Lee arrived this afternoon and is cute as can be!  She is named after both of my grandmothers and I know they would love her so much!

Andi meeting her older sister and brother!

So heading home, I checked my email and I received an email from our agency that as of today we are officially logged into the CCCWA in China which means we are LID!!! Another huge step!  And on the same day my niece was born.  It was overwhelming to think of how the Lord orchestrated these two major life milestones to culminate on the very same day and how so many steps had to occur to get us to this point and it lead to the same day?!  What is this?  It's almost too much to bear. I called Matt on the way home to tell him and he said, "Let me guess, you want to cry?"  I mean, I am a mess these days!  The goodness of the Lord is just too much for me to take!

So now we wait for a call.  We don't know how long it will be.  Days, weeks, months, who knows.  God's timing is perfect and His timing is where I want to be. . . And try not to worry (not completely there yet).  I read a quote by Ann Voskamp in The Greatest Gift (which is the Advent book that I am currently on December 10th in. . . oops!) that says "Worry is belief gone wrong.  Because you don't believe that God will get it right."  Wow, that it powerful and convicting for me.

We look forward to what 2017 has in store for our little family.  New adventures for sure.  We hope to share God's love and grace with those we meet and share life with.  We hope to be blessings to you just as so many of you have been to us!  Happy (almost) new year friends!

Merry Christmas to CHINA from the Wallace Family!!!

Stockings for everyone including our little one in China!

We received a pretty amazing Christmas present today from our adoption agency!  An email staying the following:

"CONGRATULATIONS, Matthew & Jenn,

                                                     

Here’s the news you’ve long been waiting for—your dossier was sent to China today (12/22/2016)!  Hooray!  J"

I'm not going to lie, I had to fight back the ugly cry when I read those words.  It's hard to explain to those who have not gone through the same process.  However, this is such a huge relief and celebration after over 6 months (7 in our case) of appointments, phone calls, computer modules, meetings, fingerprints, set backs, celebrations, tears, trips to governmental buildings throughout the state, sending precious documents to couriers to complete sealing processes, and so many more things that are hard to put into words.  We have completed a HUGE milestone!  HORRAY!

So what next?  Now out dossier will arrive to China in a few days and we will be "logged in" with the  Chinese Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA) and we will have a log in date (LID). This is when we will have the opportunity to be open to many more matching opportunities with children.  From this point we could be called with a potential match in a day, a week, a month or months. . . who knows!  We will literally just be waiting for a call.  Once we accept a match I am told we travel between 3-5 months from that date so I am hoping we travel this coming Summer but there are still so many unknowns.

For now we are just grateful for God's grace and goodness He continues to bestow upon our lives.  I have been so reflective lately and find myself lying in bed thinking of our next little one.  Who are you?  How old are you? Are you walking yet?  What are you doing?  Are you having a good day?  I pray your caregivers are taking good care of you!  I am working at St. Jude this Christmas and I can't help but think how fitting it is this year for me to be taking care of other children since halfway across the world someone is taking care of you.

There is a Third Day song called Merry Christmas and whenever I listen to it (throughout the entire year and even before we decided to adopt from China) I come completely undone.  I feel like we are literally living it out this year.  It's surreal and exciting and heartbreaking and amazing all at once.

So this Christmas hug your family tight and think of our little one so far away!  We are getting closer and closer to getting there!  We are so grateful for your love and support along the way!  God's perfect timing will make it all come together at just the right moment and we long for when that moment comes.  Merry Christmas friends!

So close!!

Well, we are still in the paper chase, but so close to being done!  Our Dossier, which consists of 13 documents that have to be created and then certified by 5 different groups from Memphis up to the Chinese Embassy in Washington D.C. is almost complete!  We sent 12 of the 13 documents to our courier in D.C. last week to go to the U.S. State Department and then the Chinese Embassy for the final seals to complete the "sealing process" for each of those documents.

Drinking from my Washington D.C. Starbucks mug on the day Matt FedEx'ed our
Dossier documents to the US State Department and Chinese Embassy in Washington!

Now we only lack one document which is the I800A and basically is the United States Approval for us to adopt a child from outside of this country.  This required paperwork, money (of course!), a finger print appointment for Matt and I and now we are awaiting an approval.  I may or may not be calling almost every day to check and see if we have been approved yet.  Once we are approved and receive this document in the mail, we will complete the "sealing process" (notary, county clerk certification, TN Sec of State, US State Dept and Chinese Embassy approvals) for this document and then ALL OF OUR DOCUMENTS will go to our agency for review and translation and the SENT TO CHINA!!!  This is a huge deal and we will celebrate and you will know when this happens!

Our fabulous finger printer to the left and lovely manger who approved us to walk in for our appointment early.

We took our documents to Nashville for the Secretary of State sealing for our Documents a couple of weeks ago.  Matt wanted to make a fun day trip out of it, so he flew us there and back.  It was a fun little getaway for just the two of us. (And a good excuse for him to get some flying time in!)

Best lookin' pilot I ever did see!

It was a pretty early day and I was a little grumpy (Matt said my Kind bar I had for breakfast was not working ;) ) and tired.  I was driving to the airport to meet Matt after droping the girls off and thinking about how tired I was.  I realized that my lack of sleep was probably very similar to how it would be if our little one was home with us right now.  I don't know how old he or she is, but I'm guessing an infant currently and if home with us now I would be getting less than full nights of sleep most days anyways.

I also had a moment during lunch in Nashville when I was "starving" and looking for a place to find food.  As I thought about how hungry I was, the Lord said, "You think you're hungry, think of all the people around the world who feel like this every day all day and don't get to walk up to a Chick-fil-A and order food." WOW, that will get your attention quick and snap you back into a grateful mindset.  I have so many blessings in my life that I don't even realize what they are on a day to day basis.  Thank you Lord for a warm bed to sleep in and food on the table for my family and I each day.  Thank you for the opportunity for us to be able to bring another child into this blessed life you have graciously provided for us.  Help me to not take it for granted!

Our Adoption File Taylor named "JoJo" :)

We first met with Carole, from our Home Study agency to pick up our Home Study and have it notarized in Nashville.  We then headed over to the Secretary of State Office to have all of the douments sealed by their department.

Meeting Carole from Adoption Assistance to get our Home Study!

Getting closer every day!

We finished our paperwork and made it back to the airport ready to head home.  We were on time and things were looking good.  AND THEN, when looking through the documents we realized one of them was filled out incorrectly!  Holy Moly! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Check them before you leave? Yes, yes that would have made perfect sense.  In fact, my lovely hubby even mentioned something about that and I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "They are professionals babe.  They know what they are doing."  So rush, rush, rush back to downtown Nashville, into the building that requires security clearance and back up to retrieve the corrected document and back to the airport to head home to get the girls before the end of the day.  So much for laid back, huh?  Oh well, we got everything done in the end.  And apparently they mistook Matt and I for Tim McGraw and Faith Hill (I mean we do look JUST like them) as we had a Cadillac pulled up planeside upon arrival to the airport and we pulled it right back up to the plane when we left.  Pretty fancy huh?

I mean, this is service!  Our rental car pulled up plane side ready to go!

Matt made me promise to put a picture of the plane's instrument panel in the blog post. ;)

In the meantime we will just wait for our government approval and apply for some adoption grants to help with the financial aspect of the adoption.  We are are looking forward to having some big steps completed soon to see months of hard work paid off.  Thank you for continuing to encourage and pray for our family!